Simply Op

08/02/2026 Last night, I predetermined that at 8:45 a.m. on Sunday morning I would go watch the new Spider-Man: Brand New Day movie. I pre-checked that it was not sold out and discovered that it was the least picked time slot. I watched the movie trailer prior to attendance. What I did not anticipate was that this movie was going to move me to tears.

If you asked me if I could name a movie that truly depicts loneliness, I couldn’t… until now. Whether intended to or not, the writers of this film truly captured it.

In the beginning, Spider-Man is alone living a masked life in pursuit of work. He observes connection, but only at a distance that he perceives as safe. The impact of disconnection impacts Spider-Man’s health and overall functioning. He experiences headaches, becomes hypersensitive to his surroundings, and feels emotions intensely when they surface. In order to cope, Spider-Man creates a device with the intent of inhibiting the previously stated negative effects. The belief that he has to do everything independently appears to be deeply engrained. Spider-Man genuinely cares about people, and yet, his social health is extremely low. Distantly, Spider-Man has a coworker via phone, two historic pals (MJ and Ned), a mentor (Professor Hulk), and one saved man (Frank). With time, these connections grew as the narrative unfolded. Jean Grey, the parentless telepath who has lost a sister, also fits the portrayal of loneliness. In the end of the movie, it was evident that tons of people cared about Spider-Man even though they were not directly present in his day-to-day life. Spider-Man had a choice… and he chose not to do life alone. Spider-Man proved that it is possible to change, to overcome the loneliness battle within, and to help others who are lonely.

• Loneliness can be masked
• Loneliness can have a negative impact on health (we know this)
• Loneliness can be painful
• People who are battling loneliness may reach for temporary fixes or unhealthy coping mechanisms (e.g., drugs, alcohol, excessive working, etc.)
• People who are lonely may start to believe that they have no one and that they must do everything alone
• People who are lonely may be showing up in the world (e.g., the gym, the flower shop, the apartment building, etc.)
• People who are famous, widely known, successful, good-looking, liked by everyone… are not immune to loneliness
• People are capable of caring even if distant or not present
• People who have lost someone close in their life may be subject to loneliness
• Loneliness does not have to be a life sentence (even though it can feel like it)
• Superficial connections can be strengthened
• Burn-out does exist and taking breaks may be warranted
• All humans have a need to be loved, given a sense of belonging, and appreciated

As someone who has battled loneliness in my own life, I get frustrated by the line of thinking … “Loneliness is a choice.” I spent a year hyper-fixated on caring about connection. I invested in people by way of caring, listening, acts of generosity, daily calling/texting, and being present. At the end of that year, though, I still felt existentially alone (at the workplace, where I lived, church, the holidays-Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years). My mind would say, I had no one. Now, that is not fully truth. I had an older woman who knew I would be alone and invited me for Christmas dinner. I had a past coworker who had texted me and wanted to meet for coffee. I had a past coworker invite me to their own holiday family gathering via an Instagram direct message. I had baristas at the coffee shop who called me by name and wished me well. I could go on… I had superficial connections galore; yet, sadly, I did not want any of them. I craved deep connection… humans who already knew me, whose love I believed was real, and who cared about me (not just one time but consistently). Meeting up with individual people 1-3 times a year was not enough for me to overcome my battle with loneliness. I felt stuck in a “I can’t connect” narrative that I could not get out of…. cue onset hopelessness, sadness, unworthiness, exhaustion, and defeat.

Now, what else did I learn from this? Well, I learned that I probably shouldn’t have insisted that “I’d be fine” spending the holidays alone. I could have made a greater effort to go home for the holidays if I was better at planning ahead and not avoiding airport travel. I could have asked for or accepted that I needed someone to show-up for me (even when struggling). I share this because Spider-Man makes it look easy to change and for some of us that may not feel like our reality. Loneliness can make relationships harder to establish and maintain. It is not just one choice. It is a daily choice with perpetual choices that follow. It is choosing connection over and over and over again. The responses matter. It is a battle worth fighting. Please do not give up!

To end this post, I want every lonely person to know that they are special. They are superheroes (just like Spider-Man). There are humans out there who want them in their lives and humans out there who care for them far more than they will ever know. If you are lonely, I will listen.

Love,
Op

LISTEN TO THIS:
https://youtube.com/shorts/iFkhdAQjuBg?si=lr5cqPWUs5Q63NtR

After all of that loneliness talk, let’s switch to a little photo appreciation. xo