Simply Op

03/01/2026 Today, while sitting at Miracle Coffee in Huntington Beach, I finished reading the book Present Over Perfect. In my moments of presence, I noticed how the barista remembered my order (iced matcha, honey half sweet, almond milk), how a nearby baby was the first one to make sustained eye contact while smiling at me, how two men sat outside enjoying breakfast together while engaging in conversation, how my glass was perfectly chilled, the perfect plating of a croissant, a different language use still arriving at shared meaning, and how children thrived when given an opportunity to play. For me, I found many parts of the authors experience and/or life lessons relatable. For whatever reason, I have a hard time trusting myself (e.g., rather than tuning into my inner voice, I get clouded by listening to the voices of others… as if by collecting more data I will have the reassurance or guidance I need), have a hard time sitting still (e.g., it is challenging for me to just sit at the beach because I feel unproductive and/or like I should be doing something), and I am a master avoider-escaper (e.g., if things are going too well or if I am confronted with something I have never before done, I will want to run away from it). I felt sad for the charming old man who knew how to love quick, meanwhile, he missed the opportunity for lasting love. It prompted me to ponder if I have fallen prey to a similar pattern as I have no problem being liked or admired. I struggle to be fully known. We are all imperfect. We are all worthy of love just as we are. In our minds, we know this to be true and yet we still strive for external validations. We know the power of presence and still get lost in the busyness of life. Overall, this a relatable read with reminders that we all need every now and again.  

Quote(s) for Reflection: 
– “Years ago, a wise friend told me that no one ever changes until the pain level gets high enough… The inciting incident for life change is almost always heartbreak- something becomes broken beyond repair, too heavy to carry…”
– “I’ve always trusted things outside myself, believing that my own voice couldn’t be trusted, that my own preferences and desires would lead me astray, that it was far wiser and safer to listen to other people- other voices, the voices of the crowd. I believed it was better to measure my life by metrics out there, instead of values deeply held in my own soul and spirit.” 
– “If someone gave you a completely blank calendar and a bank account full as you wanted, what would you do?” 
– “Busyness is an illness of the spirit.” – Eugene Peterson 
– “I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you are not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” -F Scott Fitzgerald 
– “But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting… so the darkness shall be light, and the stillness the dancing.” – T.S. Eliot, “East Coker,” Four Quartets 
– “I’m an avoider, an escaper, an anywhere-but-here with all my thoughts and feelings kind of person.” 
– “But the pain and the mess and the fear are the fabric of actual life, woven amid love and…”
– “He became so deeply skilled at making people feel loved in an instant, and along the way he lost the ability to demonstrate, actual, real love… Quick love cost him enduring love.” 
– “Charm…We get used to smiling, hugging, bantering, practicing good eye contact. And it’s easier than true, slow, awkward, painful connection with someone who sees all the worst parts of you. Your act is easy. Being with you, deeply with, is difficult.”
– “Brave doesn’t always involve grand gestures. Sometimes brave looks more like staying when you want to leave, telling the truth when all you want to do is change the subject.” 
– “And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good” – John Steinbeck 
– “… learning to show up and let ourselves be seen just as we are, massively imperfect and weak and wild and flawed in a thousand ways.” 
– “That’s what we are craving: the sense that we matter, that someone sees us, that we are loved and valued.”