Simply Op

I stumbled upon this book, “When Things Fall Apart”- by Pema Chodron while studying the new non-fiction bookshelf at the local library. My natural response to things falling apart is to “turtle” (aka., I avoid it at all costs) or to “deer” (aka., I try to run away, flee, escape). You will be shocked to learn that neither of those responses has helped me at any point in time and often causes me more harm than good. Last year, I started to lose my sense of security, grounding, belonging, and purpose. I was at a crossroad with minimal evidence of a “this way” sign, uncertainty, and a high degree of dissonance. One could say… I am still working on allowing myself to not be okay and to just let life flow. 

I will provide a sampling of quotes from Pema Chodron’s book that I hope to continue to reflect on: 

•  “Chaos should be regarded as extremely good news”
• “… let things fall apart and let ourselves be nailed to the present moment.” 
• “The trick is to keep exploring and not bail out, even when we find out that something is not what we thought.”
• “Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.” 
• “It’s the quality of not grabbing for entertainment the minute we feel a slight edge of boredom coming on.”
• “Impermanence is the goodness of reality… It’s falling in love and falling out of love.” 
• “To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man’s land, to experience each moment as completely new.”
• “…move toward difficulties rather than backing away.”
• “Our world, no matter how crazy and unreasonable it gets, will become our greatest teacher and ally.”
• “And never give up on yourself.”  

As I took an evening walk, I watched individuals respond to life “falling apart” all in a moment. A young boy, wearing bright blue sneakers, was abruptly caught by a wave. His shoes were completely soaked. I watched as the boy took it all in stride and responded with a laugh. As I journeyed along the sidewalk, I saw an elderly man trip; he landed on the ground with a loud thud. I watched his wife extend her hand to pull him back up. I checked in to see that he was okay; he shook it off and just kept walking. Lastly, I saw a policeman pull over a silver car without a license plate. I did not stay for the ending of that encounter, but I did guess that the driver would have preferred a different reality. All of these sightings served as evidence of the numerous ways life may fall apart in the present and how one may choose to respond.